– other stories.

In case you were struck by the title (someone said my titles are marvelous, I’m  supposed to be proud of that uhn) or  worried this would be another story on Madam Corona, that wicked Nollywood woman whose children are dancing and dancing, stealing from everybody’s pot, I beat you duh – I’m an unpredictable storyteller.

Nah, not attempting any expensive jokes.  You should read the brilliant piece in The Atlantic on staying sane in these times here. It’s so honest and beautiful and provocative and interesting and –

Can we talk about dancing?

dADaDANCE

My brother recently joked about the many “dances of the world”, how they come and go so quick: azonto, makosa, shakiti bobo, etighi, shaku shaku etc. I told him I wished there were universal widespread Christian dances. Is there a mainstream Christian dance? The only holy dances at church I know are:

  • Ancient of Days dance: to the left, to the right, to the left. Often the favorite of choirs.
  • Yoruba Christian middle-aged woman extravagant rababa dance
  • Calabar woman dance.
  • Igbo handkerchief-in-the-air-provocative dances.
  • Turning stick dance – my brother and I understand this, sorry if you don’t.
  • Big Man Dance.
  • Arm-swinging, fist-exploring, shoe-playing dance.
  • I-can-dance-but-I-don’t-dance-in-church dance.
  • Youthful-excited-dance

If you’re Christian, how have your virtual services been? What are your uncoronated testimonies? I’ve been reading Colossians lately – it’s too brilliant.

Recent Reads 

Avid readers, if you’ve not read Jennifer Makumbi, AGHH AGHH, you are on the wrong side of history. I read the first pages of Manchester Happened a few weeks ago and it was so mind-blowing I had to take a break and return to Friday Black because I worried I would faint. You know there’s that story that’s okay, the one that’s undeniably good but doesn’t particularly resonate with you, then the one that’s nice, then the one that is oh oh my goodness, really good, then the this-is-the-height-of-greatness-and-I-might-hit-the-roof kind.  Obviously, you should know what kind Jennifer Makumbi is.  I can’t wait for her third.

And yes the very first story in Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah’s New York Times bestselling story collection, Friday Black, is so good it could burst your brain. Almost done with the book.

Wonder why I find it impossible to read just a book at a time? Wonder why I’m reading short story collections by blacks?

That is not something I should be expounding on, is it?

dADaDANCE 2:

I was recently talking to someone on how I think deliberately dancing without music could be a coping mechanism (I believe the Bible is a perfect one but it isn’t everyone’s basis of living) for victims of body-shaming (this is likely my next post). Here’s what I think about dancing without music: it could evoke the fortunate (or unfortunate when it seemingly feels so) fact that your body is real. Your body, even without music, even with their shame, even after betraying you, would carry you. Sometimes, mercifully. Sometimes, mercilessly. But whichever way, whatever way, it would be no prisoner; it would carry you.

It would carry you.

Trigger point:

There are so many triggering things these days. You know a strong interest in storytelling often means a sharper eye at the world and some nuance. So that I don’t spoil the dADaDANCE mood of this piece (I know it’s sounds razz abi, shhh, I like it), I’d just drop one: extreme religiosity.

It’s annoying how gullible Nigerians could be. Fake info and we can’t even detect before forwarding. Kai. If you’re one of those wicked people spreading questionable broadcasts about Madam Corona, change your ways.  Here are interesting examples:

  • Corona virus is God’s punishment for the sins of the world, the tiny sins of our forefathers and the worse sins of all these “youths of nowadays”.
  • Corona virus is a man-made weapon of the sinful and other conspiracy theory stories.

Then the unforgettable unforgiveable biggest one:

  • Corona has six letters and the vaccine would require 666. This is the end of the world; send to 66 people within 66 minutes if you want to survive.

Ah ah, what kind of sci-fi do you read?  Which beast?   You are the beast.

Toxic religiosity is deadlier than viruses. Faith, to me, is a war, a bloody war worth fighting. Religiosity, on the other hand, is a knife. Religion places the knife to your neck and laughs at your quick surrender.

Don’t put knives to your neck.  Sorry if I sound melodramatic.

Wash your – 

– mind. I know you were expecting hands. In a time like this, guard your mind. Eating the latest horrific updates every minute is dangerous to your emotional health. Daily updates are fine, but being so anxious to know and know until you swallow propaganda and then multiply your anxiety is not wise.

Stay safe, wash your hands and your mind and subscribe if you haven’t!

Categories: Posts

1 Comment

O.S Ali · April 18, 2020 at 18:39

This was really nice, I liked how informal it was and yet it remained informative. Nice one indeed

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